Nowadays, for many men, the negatives of marriage for men often outweigh the positives. Therefore, they engage in it less often. Not because they are bad, not because they are perpetual adolescents, but because they have weighed the pros and cons of marriage in a rational manner and found the institution to be lacking for them. It’s a sensible choice for some and the video games, magazines, and humor websites that Hymowitz disses are a way to fill one’s time with fun activities that don’t tell you that you suck, are an “unfinished person,” emotionally detached or on your way to jail for fake domestic violence charges. People used to treat men better than this.

Marriage as an economic decision? Like negotiating with a hooker? Say it ain't so.

I'd say, looking at an outlier like Utah, Idaho or Wyoming, that marriage is the result of culture. In this part of the world, not being married at say, 26, is a very lonely proposition, not only because you have no wife (husband), but because all of your peers are married and most of the women (men) one meets are married. The culture simply isn't very singles-friendly much beyond one's early twenties.

The opposite is true in secular society, where it would be considered unusual to be married at 26, and most of one's peers would share the single life.

The core issue becomes--how did the culture end up like this?

Men are not animals. Like women, they select a mate on the basis of a range of attributes (like compatibility). But at the heart of it, few men want what they think they can get too easily. Men are driven to compete and win; this is part of our basic biological drives. It helps us improve the gene pool. So in a sense, nature doesn't want us to "settle" for anything less than the best we can realistically get in the marketplace. On some level, we instinctively know this.

The key word in all of this is "realistically". Often, the guy or girl who makes our head rush or our heart pound like a triphammer is neither our soul mate nor our true love. That's biology, not love talking; and that's why the rational blend of attraction and compatibility that goes into selecting a mate isn't "settling". That's why, though every parent must judge what their child can handle, I've never agreed with not letting kids date.

I dated early, and often, and that's how I learned to tell the dizzy rush of infatuation from the more permanent glow that comes with true love. It takes practice; trial and error of many relationships over the years. Some people never do get it right.

I think Cassandra probably illustrates the cultural nature of delayed marriage as well as anyone in this missive.

Marriage is like buying a BMW. You get the three series if you're a reacher. A five series if you're doing well. A seven series if you're really flush.

Its all about me, me, me.

The problems attending young marriage are less about age than maturity, and apparently young people are unbelievably immature well into their thirties these days.

This past weekend, I went to an RV exhibition with my wife and some friends. We've all known each other since we were eighteen. We've all been married 25 plus years. We expect to be married to our spouses for the rest of our live. We swap war stories about the tough times, the kids, the job and I observe that good marriages are less about compatibility than they are about commitment and shared experience.

The lovely bunny and I grew up together and made a life together. It wasn't a merger and acquisition after establishing careers and social status. Our friends are all the same way--two people in the same foxhole, shooting it out with life.

If I may be so bold, I'd like to provide a little advice to young singles about marriage.

You're ready to get married when you've demonstrated an ability to follow-through on your commitments. This is called maturity.

You know you've met someone you can marry when you can't imagine your life without them.

Intimacy is not sex. Marry someone you can be psychologically intimate with--someone who knows you and accepts you for who you are, but encourages your better angels. Sex too early in the relationship clouds judgment. The churches preach abstinence before marriage--they know something you don't know. Sex is like plastic wrap on spoiled food--it hides the smell of corruption, but only for a while.

All you need to be ready for marriage is commitment, love and enough money for a marriage license. There is no point to long engagements or ridiculously elaborate weddings unless your father-in-law is a mafioso.

Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership. Sometimes its 90/10, other times 10/90. If you both think about your spouse before yourselves, things will be great.

Every marriage is different--make your own. Just because you're parents did it one way, doesn't mean that you have to follow suit.

Kids change everything. For men--you used to be number one, now you will be number two. Hang in there--before long, you're number one with the kid. Few things are better than getting hugged around the legs as you come in the door from work. Eventually you get to be number one again with the wife as well.

The kids think you are the smartest, best man/women to ever walk the earth. Act accordingly. Learn to fix things.

Don't take any crap. Don't hit anyone. Keep the yelling to a minimum.

Go out on a date every week. Ice cream cones at McDonalds counts.

Hug every family member daily.

Buy your wife gifts. Tell her she looks nice. Tell her she's beautiful. Make passes at her. Throw her down on the bed occasionally. Ladies--same advice.

Don't worry about who's right--eventually it will become obvious. Before you tell your spouse how you feel, think about how you feel and why you're feeling it.

Make their lives more pleasant. Learn to fold towels in thirds. Hang evenly, with the pattern showing the right way. Learn to make a really good pot roast.

Groom yourself. Get in shape.

Merit implicit trust.

Encourage each other.

These are the basics I think and I expect that other long-married people will largely concur with the list, At the end of the day, I think young people are depriving themselves of an incredibly fulfilling experience, one that follows the truism that the whole is greater than the sum of its party. I truly believe that you will be a better, more successful man or woman in a good marriage, than you could ever hope to be by yourself.