As marriage with children becomes an exception rather than the norm, social scientists say it is also becoming the self-selected province of the college-educated and the affluent. The working class and the poor, meanwhile, increasingly steer away from marriage, while living together and bearing children out of wedlock.

"The culture is shifting, and marriage has almost become a luxury item, one that only the well educated and well paid are interested in," said Isabel V. Sawhill, an expert on marriage and a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution.

I wonder what makes Sawhill and "expert" on marriage? I've been married a long time and while I would consider myself experienced, I am far from an expert.

I have to wonder if marriage is for rich people, or whether rich people are those that got married.

I doubt its as much a matter of economics as it is culture; I get almost one wedding invitation a week these days from friends of my children in their early twenties getting married. Its extremely common here in Utah and in spite of the conventional wisdom, poverty and divorce are less common here than elsewhere.

Married couples may well wait to have children until their financial circumstances are more stable, but instead of a merry-go-round of hookups, young people fall in love and get married. Its pretty frustrating for singles moving into the Utah area--all the nice-looking young girls have rings on their fingers.!

The idea that you can't get married and that somehow living together or even having children out-of-wedlock is the reasonable course of action just seems bizarre to me.

Yet more importantly, the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood tend to push men in particular to takes risks, work a little harder, seek to improve their education. In my case, the birth of my first son resulted in my more than doubling my income in a single year. I had a kid and I needed money to buy a house--the responsibility pushed me out of my comfort zone. In fact one of my good friends and I were on a road trip and got to talking about how much money we'd really need to live comfortably by ourselves. Basically I could work as the night manager at McDonalds and have everything I need. Providing for the wife and the kids had been a tremendous financial incentive. Ordinarily I'm just not that ambitious.

The idea that you have to be "secure" to get married is a little silly--why not build a life together from scratch? No need for prenuptial agreements that way.